Homeschooling

Erik and I made the very weighty decision to homeschool Xander this year. I have always wanted to. What brought us to this decision now, on top of having all the resources we need to do so, we also want to have more family flexibility. If (or when) Erik needs to go away to work on another contract, we can sometimes accompany him. It opens up broader horizons for Erik's work opportunities. His emphasis is on providing well for our family and not necessarily "career growth." But homeschooling means we don't have to worry about what time of year it is if we need to go somewhere else and we don't have to worry about the quality of the nearest school if we move.

Xander at first said he wanted to stay home for school. (He gets lots of play time during the summer and not so much during the school year.) Then he said he wanted to try first grade at the school first. Unfortunately, this is not his decision, and we didn't want to switch approaches mid-year if possible. We have not sat him down to tell him our final decision yet, although we have been discussing things that can happen in homeschooling. For example, on the district's first day of school, we can attend the area homeschool group's Not Back to School party at a large pool.

I am loving the idea of having all choices open for education, field trips, traveling, etc. It is daunting to think of all the things he might miss: (possibly) more people to invite to his birthday parties, Valentine's Day class parties, group P.E., group recess, teachers who are not his mom, and on and on. But we will be able to do scores more field trips with him than the school does and we will bring him to park and playground meet-ups as often as possible. We plan on another structured group as well - we're not sure which one yet. We've thought about scouts, chess groups, YMCA sports, martial arts, and more.

After I called the school to inform them (and they were friendly and fabulous as usual), I cried. I prayed that I would not ever shortchange my kids and that I would be the best I could be for their sakes. I am a product of traditional schooling and I do love the fall start-up-school routine and the structure of brick-and-mortar schools. Plus we all love our local elementary school even if we see some drawbacks. However, my memories of every single year of public school are mixed, positive with negative. I don't think I learned as much as I could have. Sports were very important to me. These days it is very easy to get kids involved with sports even when they are homeschooled. I hope that when the kids are high school age they will be allowed to play on the public school teams if they choose to. Who knows? We may not be homeschooling then.

Those public school drawbacks I mentioned? These are the ones I can think of:

• almost no flexibility for students taking time off school
• Xander has to get up way too early for good functioning - he ends up being way more cheerful and cooperative during summer and school vacations due to more sleep and less constant stimulation
• some not-so-great peer influences, though we didn't have any major problems
• one field trip per year
• art, music, and theater arts were only one semester each

I have many specific ideas for structure and curriculum. What we are also trying to focus on right now is getting social opportunities lined up. Those are very important to Xander and to us. It seems like everything we do as a family and almost everything we do during leisure time is educational, so although I want structure, we are not so worried about getting the academics covered.

We are pondering the best way to present this decision to Xander. One thing we know is that it has to be presented as Mom and Dad's decision which is a done deal. There will be perks for him, I think. Just one example is that I think we can do academics in three hours a day, which leaves the whole afternoon open.

So that's our latest big deal. There are lots of big decisions happening right now. I'll talk about others in another post.

I am excited to homeschool and I believe Xander will thrive. He can go back to public school next year very easily at this age, if we really don't think it went well after this year.

Brotherly Love

I forgot to note that Xander and Nick have been playing together so much more lovingly. It is marvelous. We still hear cries and shouts at each other, but there are several tender moments and friendly play times throughout the day. I brought them to the playground today and it was nice to see how they played together. Previously, they played separately on playgrounds, but today they did almost everything as a pair.

Later in the afternoon, Xander asked Nick to sit down on the floor next to him to watch him play "Lord of the Rings" with some figures. Nick did! He sat very nicely for a long time to watch his brother. I had to smile when he had moved to the couch to look at his books and Xander kept calling out to him a play-by-play. Xander would ask, "Did you see that?" and Nick would answer, "Yes," in a motherly-chipper-I'm-doing-something-else-but-still-responding-to-you way. He's got me down pat. Then Xander would call out another lengthy detail about what he was doing and Nick would say, "O-o-oh," in that same tone of voice.

A week or so ago, I introduced a little "family fun unit" about super-siblings (that I found online). It included a story with cut-out figures, an activity, and an ongoing supplemental activity. First we heard a story about someone standing up for his sibling and decided when a character in the story was acting like a "big bully" and when someone was acting like a "super-sibling." Then we brainstormed ways to be a super sibling. Then we drew pictures of some of those ways. I put out a decorated jar and told them that every time I saw one of them being a super-sibling I would put an M&M in the jar. When it was full, we would get to have a family board game night and they would get to pick all the games we played.

The super-sibling jar has been filling up. Usually, there are between three and seven M&Ms put in per day. I will have to use larger candy soon so they can see more progress. M&Ms are so small. :)

So I have seen progress in their sibling relationship since that unit. I'm not sure how much the unit has to do with it, but it was well worth doing.

Tonight Nick reminded me that he had to say good-night to Xander. They gave each other very nice hugs and kisses.

Xander just told me a joke. He is on the cusp of telling jokes that are actually funny instead of just phrases he wanted to say.

"What did 0 say to 8?"
"Nice tie!"

One of his favorites right now, besides knock-knock jokes:

"What says 'a ha ha ha ha ha plonk'?"
"A man laughing his head off."

Tomorrow

We have been so busy preparing for Erik to come home! We pick him up tomorrow night. Everyone will feel so happy and relieved to be together again, I think. There are certain projects underway in preparation for his homecoming that I won't detail yet in case he reads it before tomorrow night.

Xander has been on a kick of taking pictures of everything he likes. We should think about getting him one of those kids' digital cameras. I have been trusting him to use mine properly, which he has so far. Here are some of his latest (we might want to look up a kids' photography book or course, too - that could be fun):

 He and I set up a tent with his bright new Ikea comforter:

Good Morning

When both boys got out of bed this morning, at different times, they each said, "Good morning, Mom."

They always do. I love it. It reminds me to be more cheerful to start the day.

They sat down to a breakfast of cereal and fruit. Juice for Xander. He is appreciative of any time I give him something (like juice) before he asks for it, and he said thank you in a heartfelt way.

When Nick got up from his breakfast, he came over to me and said, "Hi, Mom!" as if we hadn't seen each other yet today. Then he said, "I nice to see you, Mom."

I told him it was very nice to see him, too. Then he repeated, "I nice to see you, Mom."

What a fabulous way to begin the day.

Road Trip

Time to talk about the road trip! We took two days to drive there and two days to drive back because I thought that was the more reasonable and safe method for me to drive them there. We spent almost two weeks with my grandma and mom.

This was a trip just me and the boys. Erik is still working in another state but will be back soon.

One thing I learned while on the trip is that my boys are definitely not interested in dolls and still not that interested in Little People. I have bought things for them over the years and given them opportunities to play with these things, and they were never a big success. At Grandma's house, they were given their choice of new (to them; very familiar to me) toys to play with. They adored and adopted stuffed animals, they drew up a storm on the over-sized drawing pad, they loved the slip 'n slide, Nick obsessed over the little box of shells, and they really liked a ball-drop-and-spin toy toy my grandma bought for them at a garage sale. It is a baby toy, like this: http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Peek-A-Rounds-Jungle-Friends-Treehouse/dp/B0002YDQ1Y/ref=sr_1_8?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1341789737&sr=1-8&keywords=ball+drop+spin+toy

Neither of them touched the dolls or the piles of doll outfits. I have to say Grandma Lucy spent a lot of time dressing them up, but she did not have a very interested audience. :) The Little People and Little People bus were popular at first, but only for a day or two.

And they can't get enough of zoos and aquariums. And they will both ride little kid amusement park rides. And they are now perfect angels on outings. They could handle a longer day and more exciting outings than their grandma and great-grandma without problem. I brought the stroller to the zoo but didn't even have to push my purse in it when Nick got tired of it. He pushed it for me! I am about to retire as a parent, folks!

Just kidding. I will have to be forced into retirement for this gig.

One of the major highlights for me was visiting the book shop that my family used to visit after every Christmas to spend our Christmas gift certificates. It's a great children's book shop in downtown St. Paul. When you drive there, you get to see the old Victorian houses and even the governor's mansion. This was one of my favorite family traditions. It meant so much to me to go there and allow the boys to each pick out something (plus they got some major book treats from their great-grandma, and I got a major book treat from my mom!) and to see how they loved browsing and reading for a long time.

Another highlight was going to Fort Snelling National Cemetery to see my grandpa's grave in person. Grandma took me and we looked and prayed and talked and I cried a little. She showed me where the ceremony had taken place, where they did the 21-gun salute. I noticed that very few of the other headstones showed more than one war. Grandpa's had the Korean war and World War II.

Yet another highlight was seeing two close friends I've had since middle school.

Picture time!

At our first rest area

I had to convince them to run and jump around.

Like magic, we are in Minnesota at Great-Grandma's house!

One of my best friends's husband letting Nick have some wrestling time - I am leaving out all the pictures of playing with their kids in case she doesn't want her kids' pictures on the Internet. Their kids are 9, 7, and 5, and they were wonderful playmates for my guys. Nothing better than a close friendship that can be picked up at a moment's notice no matter how often you have talked in between.

At the Minnesota Zoo, which is a really fantastic and really expensive zoo - Thanks, Great-Grandma!

The animatronic dinosaur exhibit was at MN Zoo

It was hard getting them past the entrance, where a raptor was squirting water

Mall of America carousel

Me and another close friend from high school

Birthday dinner on the porch

Pancake breakfast on the porch

Nick's second celebration of his third birthday

Erik's coworker gave Xander a Lego Mindstorm set!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erik came to see us in MN and they worked hours on Mindstorm

RoboGator

This thing is awesome; it can sense when an object is near and shoot little balls at it, among other things (that is, after Erik and Xander programmed it)

Oh yeah, we're back at the zoo with the dinosaurs

Nick still says, "Ee have a great day at da zoon with the dinosaurs!"

I didn't even have to push the stroller

When Erik came, we went to the Mall of America for the aquarium. We were all so delighted to have him there.

Manta rays and sting rays and sharks (?)

The really blurry part is Nick - he loved these jellyfish in tanks (we weren't supposed to use flash photography)

Bumper cars for the first time ever

So Xander has outgrown this type of thing...

We did so much more than this. What a great trip it was. Everything, including the drives, went smoothly.

Eating Flamingoes

"I got a flamingo in your mouth."

This is what Nick said while eating our Neapolitan ice cream sundaes with chunks of mango, strawberry, pineapple, and mandarin oranges.

(I'm pretty sure flamingo equals mango.)

We were having such a treat because it was Xander's last day of swim lessons. What a relief. Upbeat, upbeat, upbeat is what I keep telling myself.

Positive Dentist Experience

I should talk about our positive dental experiences since I have been focusing a lot on our negative YMCA swim lessons experience. (I think YMCA swim lessons will be fine for Nick, and the YMCA soccer league was awesome for Xander, but on top of the swim lessons not working for Xander, they are also doing construction right next to the pool. There are fumes of paint, sawdust, gasoline, and general yuckiness wafting over the pool. The big construction area, complete with construction vehicles, is on the way from the entrance to the temporary outdoor entrance to the pool. The fence is always wide open. If someone wasn't watching their toddler every step of the way, a kid could easily walk in, pick up some rusty nails, fall in the large hole, etc. Today they had only one working bathroom. I'm guessing plumbing was damaged in the construction process?)

Oh yeah, focusing on the positive... We have a new pediatric dentist as of six months ago because we moved here and needed a new one, obviously. It is a long but pretty drive to their office. It was really hard to find the first time, so we didn't start off on the right foot. We were late due to the confusion in directions and I had also forgotten my cell phone at home, so I couldn't call them to ask for help or warn them we were running late.

At the office, they were calm and friendly. They didn't have an uber-kids'-fantasy-waiting-room like our last pediatric dentist, but I didn't like that last one anyway. My children were fine with this waiting room. Xander went back on his own (their preference). He had negative experiences with our previous dentist, reminiscent of the swim lessons fiasco. He was okay going back on his own at the new place. I went in with Nick. The dentist asked me to have him sit on my lap facing me so he could lay back on the dentist's lap. He sang to Nick while he brushed his teeth, counted them, and put fluoride on them. It was a quick process and I liked the dentist's manner. He was positive and nice even with Nick crying loudly the whole time. The good part was that he could see every nook and cranny of those teeth because Nick's mouth was open so wide. Then we were done!

Xander had gone through his own check-up all by himself and was fine and happy. They said his teeth looked good. End our first appointment.

Waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy better than at the previous dentist. I do have to say that the expensive and traumatic procedure they recommended of putting fillings and sealants in Xander's baby teeth seems to have worked. If his teeth are good now but had several cavities a couple years ago, it's probably thanks to the dental work. He brushes his teeth twice a day and flosses them but he's six years old. Ya know. I try to take a turn doing his teeth every once in a while and I periodically retrain him, but he is still six. Oh, the other thing we've changed based on that previous dentist's advice is to NOT give gummy vitamins anymore. Oops. I was miffed when that dentist's office always offered the kids candy, though.

This new dentist's office says parents MUST brush their children's teeth for them twice a day until they turn eight years old. That seems overkill to me but I understand the principle.

So I'm only just now getting to our appointment of a few days ago. We got there easily. Xander went back on his own easily. Nick and I went back for the same routine. This time he did not make a peep, other than when I said he would have to lay back in the dentist's lap. He quietly said, "I don't wanna lay back," but he did it anyway. He was quiet and calm the whole time and responded to the dentist. (With grunts - don't you hate when they talk to you with your mouth stuck open?)

Both sets of teeth looked great. I asked if Nick really did have an extra tooth on the top like our previous dentist had said. The dentist said Nick did have an extra but he wouldn't recommend extracting it for another year because the experience might be traumatic. I heartily agree! He said the tooth would have to come out, though, to let the adult teeth come through when it was time.

Then we were done! Nick said he wanted to stay at the dentist.

My children have done a complete turnaround from the previous dental experiences. I am happy with our new dentist!