Getting Somewhere

Xander went with me to my silent meeting yesterday. We've been practicing at home where he stays on a blanket or chair in the living room and plays with the toys and books in his Quiet Bag. We started with a game to see how long he could be silent. Now we don't even need the game. He can be almost silent for up to an hour, but I don't have him do that at home anymore. I just wanted to know he could before I took him back to the meeting. At the meeting, he spent most of the time in a corner on a beanbag playing silently. Part of the time, he stayed in my lap curled up like a baby and I thought he might even go to sleep...but no. I was proud of him for making it the whole hour with just one episode of singing the ABCs very sweetly in the corner. He even came up to me silently and mouthed the words, I have to go to the bathroom, in the middle, so we went outside and up stairs to a bathroom, took care of business, and went back into the silent meeting. Afterward, when it was chatting time, he put his toys in the middle of the circle and talked to everyone about his animals and what they were doing. When I said it was time to clean up and go, he said, "I have to play with my toys, and they have to watch me!" We've known this since he was an infant, but he is no shy guy. Then we went to Sonny's BBQ, just Mommy and Xander, since he and I don't get as many one-on-one outings anymore.

Xander used to come with me to the silent meeting when we lived in Maryland. There was another girl of the same age who came, too, and they played together, less than silently. They were about a year and a half old at the time. One day they ran around and around the meeting room. I will always remember the little girl running down the aisle, her brown curls flapping in the wind, proclaiming, "I running! I running! I running!" That is the spirit of childhood to me.

Nick seems to have a lot of the same traits Xander does, only more so. Xander is very social and skipped the separation anxiety phase. Nick seems to be doing the same thing so far. He will smile for and go to anyone right now. When we go on an outing, he doesn't usually sleep. He wants to see everyone and everything and reach out his hands to try to touch it all.

Xander was physically active from babyhood, always bouncing up and down on someone's lap. Nick does that plus crawls. He has been able to get out of his infant chairs (slithering down to the floor) for months. Today I set him down on his activity mat to do some chores. Xander was sitting playing on the couch. When I came back, Nick had gotten halfway over to Xander but was blocked by the bottom portion of the coffee table. I don't think Xander is quite as enthusiastic to "play" together as Nick is. Maybe when Nick stops drooling all over everything Xander will feel better about it. He's kind of grossed out by all the fluids now--just like his daddy.

Speaking of his daddy, Erik printed out nice pictures for each step of the going-to-the-bathroom routine and posted the chart in front of the toilet for Xander. Xander has been potty trained to go in the potty or toilet for over 6 months now, but it's the details we have to work on. That, and actually taking the time to go. With this chart, Xander is 90% better than before. He likes to look at it and follow it, from pulling down pants and underwear (not too low, not too high, as either one can cause problems ;) to wiping to washing hands with soap. Not least important is the concept of waiting to get into the bathroom before shedding all the clothing. Today at preschool he did not have an accident and he did not pull down his pants in front of everyone. Victory!