Earning

random picture of some heart-shaped baked doughnuts we made

Nick said yesterday that his favorite day would be to go to Egypt. He wants to see the Sphinx.

Both kids are sick. Nick's had a low-grade fever for three days. Xander started with one today. They've been acting pretty chipper once I give them children's Advil, though. When I let them lounge around and watch TV and stuff like that, they get bored and whiny. When I let them do their chores as normal, with the promise of incentives, they are cheerful and hardworking. So chores it is. With me trying to be more patient than usual in deference to their illness, whatever it is.

I've started a new chore system using popsicle sticks. We all have an In pouch and an Out pouch for daily chores. I've written almost all of our household chores on popsicle sticks. I get out the sticks for the chores we need to do each day, and then the kids get to pick from those chores. Nick must do Morning Cards, Evening Cards, and two other easy chores each day. Xander must do Morning Cards, Evening Cards, and four other easy chores or two other hard chores each day. I help them as much as they need it.

In this way, Xander has begun to learn a lot about how to do the laundry. He's chosen "do a load of laundry" for the last three days. I wasn't planning to teach him this young, but I'm taking advantage of his choice.

Erik had him helping with the dinner dishes last night. There is just a lot of work going on around here, and I love it! (By the way, he didn't get anything out of doing the dishes but a chance to work with Dad.)

I think part of the motivation is the new, colorful chore system. Part of it is that I said we would stop giving them allowance but would start paying them for each chore they completed during the week. This is a controversial move. My rationale is this: Kids who live on farms generally learn all about hard work and responsibility in a natural way. They simply have to do a lot of work to help the family get everything done at the time it must be done. Because we don't live on a farm, I set up a more artificial system to give everyone plenty of responsibility in getting our total family work done. I figure paying them on the basis of work done is another way to show that the amount and quality of work you do makes a difference. They get a small bonus at the end of the week if they completed every single chore every day, to reward consistency.

(The major portion of this idea comes from "The Jeppson Plan" in A Thomas Jefferson Education Home Companion.)

They also get to earn their screen time this way. Screen time takes place at a designated time each day for each of them. But they only get as many minutes as they earned through chores and lessons and service or kindness to others. (Thanks to a couple of my friends for this idea!)

There are still things they have to do without earning incentives, but they don't complain about these things. Clearing their place at the table and cleaning up after themselves are part of this type of work.

In a year or so, I plan to ratchet up Xander's earnings per chore so that he ends up earning enough to pay for friends' birthday gifts, his own clothing, extra educational materials beyond our family budget, and any treats or toys he wants. Eventually, he will have to pay for any expenses associated with a car of his own and save up for college tuition. Those things will probably require him to get a job outside the family.

I am going to be keeping in mind the danger of supplying too much external motivation to the point that it diminishes their internal motivation. My kids have enormous internal motivation to learn, though they will resist activities that seem boring or hard to them. They also have internal motivation to be helpful. The problem is, this comes with a lot of whining and arguing and not a lot of getting household work or even hygiene work done. With this new system, they are working hard and getting their hygiene chores done easily and cheerfully.