Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Potty Training Himself

I gave potty training a break when we went on our road trip, and for the past week I have been too busy getting things back to normal and unpacking to want to start it up again.

We went grocery shopping this morning and then to swim lessons. The YMCA swim program put Xander in a too-advanced class because of his age (ignoring his skill level). He suffered through a traumatic first lesson. After talking with Xander about his first day, I made sure they switched him to the next lowest class. He has slowly been getting more comfortable with the water again but NOT doing everything the other kids are doing...and today he could not participate because his toe started bleeding. Enough to bleed through three Band-Aids. So there was really nothing any of us could do. I had him sit and watch half the lesson so he could see the new things his classmates were doing and think about how he was going to challenge himself in his lesson the next day. Swim lessons are over in two days. He is the last person in his class who needed to miss a lesson.

I don't think I'm doing YMCA swim lessons for him ever again. I think he would have learned to swim by now if he had had individual lessons.

His traumatic first day included a time when he was under water except for his hands, which were waving in the air. Universal signal for I-can't-swim, right? I appeared to be the only one watching him. He was like that for at least five seconds. From my mom-perspective it was like a minute. I was ready to sprint to that side of the pool, jump in, and rescue him, because his instructor and four other lifeguards at that end of the pool didn't see anything. Then he made it to the side of the pool. I have been pretty furious about swim lessons since then but wanted to keep encouraging Xander so he didn't end up thinking that his mom had to rescue him from mean swimming lessons. I did move him to another class because the other one just wasn't safe for him. That instructor was not watching him and had eight kids in the class. His new instructor is gentle and wonderful and I believe that he is very safe with her. Plus there are only five kids in that class.

Luckily, Nick feels differently than Xander about getting under water. He loves to dunk his head and have water run down his face and really wants to go in the deep end so he can go down the water slides. Xander has yet to work up the courage to go down the slides again. We will be sure to work with Nick in the hope that he will always love to be in the water. (I have to be right next to him in the water. This is probably obvious to anyone with young children, or who have had young children at some point. We were in a river cove in Minnesota, playing with life jackets on, and Nick somehow plopped over on his face. He was wearing a life jacket the proper way. He just laid there, face down in the water, as I got him and picked him up. This sort of thing has happened at least two other times. It doesn't bother him, but I can see that he doesn't do anything and doesn't know how to get himself out of that situation.)

So we got home from the YMCA and ate. At some point while I cleaned up, Nick took off his diaper. I didn't really mind so I let him read his pre-nap books that way. Xander and I started silently reading together on the couch. Nick came up to me and said, "Mom? I want to put it in the potty let it come out."

I knew what that was all about, so I jumped up and held his hand to walk to the bathroom. I sat on the top of the big toilet for moral support and he crouched down over the small potty. Interestingly, he wanted to do this from the front the way he had been seeing his big brother do it. He ended up kind of sitting backwards on it. Anyway, he proceeded to go pee in the potty, empty the pot, put it back on, and wash his hands. I was so freaking excited.

Before nap, he decided on his own that he wanted to go again. Even bigger success!

I gave him the choice of wearing a diaper to nap or nothing because he has a little potty in his bedroom and I know he can make it through some nap times and most overnights without wetting the bed. He chose to wear nothing.

Nick has decided to do this thing!


2 comments:

  1. WOOHOO for Nick!!! I won't say anything else because I am sure you're over the moon. :)

    As far as things go for Xander, man, that's tough. I am sad for you guys that that was his experience. I remember a few traumatic experiences I had with water when I was young. Even though they didn't keep me from swimming, they did keep me from having a deep enthusiasm for water-related activities. I went to school in San Diego and not once in four and a half years did I try surfing. Sad.

    It sounds like Xander is just quite cautious in general... and then when something happens to reinforce that idea, it takes a very long time and some very positive experiences to change his mind. And how do you, as a parent, manufacture a super positive water experience when you're having a hard time not freaking out, too!? What a tough challenge for you!

    I am glad you're back writing about your family! Missed you!

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  2. You're right, I was freaking out. Today he cried again, I guess because of my comments about challenging himself to try his hardest today. I had to give him a calming 30 second countdown to go back to his lesson so he wouldn't try to sit it out with me. I tried to exude serene confidence because he kept looking at me. Of course I felt bad the whole time, though. Erik and I are going to make "positive water time" our goal when we go on our family vacation to Destin in August.

    After Nick's nap yesterday, he got up dry. Later I noticed that he had gone pee on his bedroom potty!! He didn't even say anything!

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